The Last Time You Are Close to Your Body
       

you are at the table where family dinners have to happen. Your stepmother is telling you, again, that you're disgusting. This time, because she caught you scrubbing panties in the bathroom, like your aunt taught you when you were too poor for hygiene. Your father, who is past this past already, is not at the table and wouldn't be because this isn't family dinner. She is listing all the reasons you disgust her. You are surprised she doesn't mention your mother. She mentions your mother when she wants to hurt you most; she is never without your mother on her tongue. Your mother is barbed wire hurting you both. You want to ask which part of this is wrong, but you already know it is you. It is why, when you wash your purple-printed panties in the sink, you hope the steam will swallow the mirror whole. You remember your mother in a ratty blue bathrobe, before your father was synonymous with money. Your stepmother would never wear that bathrobe, would never touch anything that feels like poverty on the palms. She will never hold you.

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Copyright © 2021 Diamond Forde All rights reserved
from Mother Body
Saturnalia Books
Reprinted by Verse Daily® with permission