It Is Friday Night
       

& somewhere a boy
is bleeding neon all over my name
"I dated her once,"
he says
double fisting everclear & insecurity
"she was a Crazy Bitch"
& so
every time my ears ring I say,
"thank you"
I say,
"yes,
&
it's ms. Crazy Bitch to you
sir Crazy Bitch the magnificent"
every time my ears ring I think
look at the moon
what a Crazy Bitch
the way she never lets the night tell her what to do
every time my ears ring I think
today the Crazy Bitch should go to flight school
sky write the names of her abusers above their apartment houses
demand accountability
like a Crazy Bitch is wont to do
every time my ears ring I think
no
not crazy enough
'cause the Craziest Bitches don't redact names do they
guess you' re getting lucky this time
but never in the way you wanted
it is friday night
& I am drilling oil wells into my shins
harvesting the marrow
mailing him a milkshake of my insides
how surprised he will be when it tastes like him
silly boy
don't you know we Crazy Bitches have no more room in our closets for skeletons
we carry them within us
I've got bones within my bones
& all of them are rotten with the memory of you
it is friday night
& I
a Crazy Bitch
do the Craziest, Bitchiest thing of all
I forgive him
again
even though he does not deserve it
even though no Crazy Bitch is required to do such a thing
as no Crazy Bitch is required to do anything other than what
they damn well please
& yet
I
like the moon
nearly drown every night by darkness
yet
like the moon
refuse to let him swallow me up
like the moon
am a Crazy Bitch
perpetually rising in my own hemisphere
even if you can't see me yet
I am the horizon in heat
I am bone bursting through
bone bursting through
all this neon blood
& I
like a Crazy Bitch
am winning

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Copyright © 2019 Shay Alexi All rights reserved
from Diary of a Ghost Girl
Glass Poetry Press
Reprinted by Verse Daily® with permission