"Never Let Your Reader's Attention Wander."

In Cat People, Oliver marries Irena, but she says they can't
go on a honeymoon because of a gypsy curse. If they have
sex, she'll turn into a panther and kill him. In one of the great
understatements in film he says, "I wish you'd told me this
before we were married." That's not true. He's a modern
husband, so he sends her to a shrink. Oliver has a co-worker,
Alice, with tremendously hot pants. Actually, no. She's just
a normal gal who likes Oliver. When he tells Alice about
Irena and the curse she says, "Holy shit!" Not really. Alice
would never talk like that. In 1942 nobody in the movies
talked like that. Meanwhile, the shrink can't seem to think
of anything but Irena and the way she padded into his office
and curled up by the fire. Coops. Not the part about the fire.
At their next session, he tries to kiss her and she claws him
to death. Now she has to die. The Legion of Decency says
so: virtue rewarded, evil punished. The Catholics even
banned "excessive and lustful kissing:" Well, that's why
I frequent prostitutes. An hour of excessive kissing for $75.
$65 with the discount regulars get. Just kidding. I don't
go to massage parlors or houses set back off the road with
covered parking. I'm just trying, dear reader, to keep you
interested. This is poetry, not an exciting movie with huge
Cokes to keep everybody alert. But you're still reading,
aren't you? I'm so glad. Just a few more sentences. At
the end of the movie, Irena dies at the zoo by panthercide.
Alice and Oliver find her body and he says, "She never
lied to us." Well, he didn't have readers with a dozen
other things on their mind. He just had Alice who, with
Irena out of the way, unbuttons her blouse to reveal a florid
tattoo set off by a midnight black bra. Not really. I just
made that up.

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Copyright © 2011 Ron Koertge All rights reserved
from Court Green
Reprinted by Verse Daily® with permission